SPIDER-MAN 3

It looks like I'm in the middle ground between the "love it" or "hate it" Spider-Man 3 camps. I generally found the flick mostly entertaining and a lot of fun, but incredibly over-stuffed & under-developed with some howlingly awful parts. It probably helped that I figured Sam Raimi might be getting a little restless doing the same old thing with this cast and might go a little nutty this time. Not that I expected musical numbers, but they didn't totally take me for surprise either. The entire Thursday midnight Ziegfeld audience was vocally excited, cheering the action, laughing with the comedy, and laughing at the goofy screw-ups. Much like the first Spider-Man, the beginning half of the film is much better than the second half. But by the time it was all over, I had endured one too many crummy scenes to be too emotionally worked up about this teen soap-opera anymore.

Generally, I thought the cast was great, often making lazy screenwriting look special. TH Church as Sandman was the best at this, layering tons of guilt on his shoulders to back up the most threadbare of dialog and plot for his character. James Franco finally hit his groove with Harry Osborne’s descent into diabolical villainy. He’s having a lot of fun and so is the audience. BD Howard had almost nothing to do as Gwen, but she looked great doing it and was very touching in her final moment. It was great to see Theresa Russell again, making the most of her one scene. And Bruce Campbell got a much deserved round of cheers from the crowd.

Oh the CGI, the CGI. Yeah, there is a lot of it. If you’re allergic, then you shouldn’t go see SP3. The T-Rex swinging vine fight in Jackson's King Kong was almost subdued next to some of the super-heroics here. A great deal of these high-altitude action scenes reminded me of Road Runner cartoons, where the Coyote plunges endlessly from a great height with various boulders and failed gizmos which constantly switch velocity with him for the sake of bone-crushing slapstick. It’s a little hyper, but it works. Perhaps there is a better method for bringing Spider-Man super-battles to the big screen, but I’m not aware of it. The CGI abstainers will be missing some lovely little bits of animation, like the pathos of the Sandman's Harryhausen-esque birth. And Venom is really cool once you finally to see him, but then Topher Grace keeps bubbling through every time before you get a closer look.

There’s some capital offense screenwriting crimes to be found here, like that jaw-droppingly crappy exposition scene with the butler, which will be mocked by stand-up comics for years. I really hated the insertion of those terribly directed TV news people as some kind of club-footed exposition for the finale, especially considering there wasn't anything there that really needed explaining. I couldn't tell you what Aunt May was somberly lecturing Pete about the fourth or fifth time...I had drifted off into a cloud as she droned on. James Cromwell is really wasted, dryly dishing out exposition or reacting blandly to the sight of his daughter about to die. I don’t get to ever see Peter use this supposedly powerful new Spidey-suit, but I get the entire Harry Osborne cooking show?!? Several missed phone message scenes, but no resolution about the Sandman’s kid?!? And how is it that they can make me believe in a Godzilla Sandman, but they can’t convince me that Kirsten Dunst can sing?!?

The musical bits? I dug ‘em. My whole audience was laughing their heads off, but with the dancing rather than at it. The Raimi/Maguire Peter Parker is a fairly hopeless geek, even when he turns bad. I think it was smart to not go too serious with Maguire’s turn towards evil, as it most likely would either be too dark for this film or just unintentionally ridiculous. I suppose I would not have suggested that Maguire transform into the Pennies From Heaven Christopher Walken, but that’s cuz my name ain’t Raimi.

I went to see the first two Spideys multiple times, but I think I’m sated with just one trip to see this last one. If your interest is invested in the saga, go check it out. Otherwise, don’t bother. It’s better than X3, but really best recommended only for Raimi or Spidey completists.

But now, if I could have my wish, I’d like them to end the Spidey-saga. Or at least put it on hold for a while. Let Sam Raimi take a long vacation and recharge his batteries. And then, I’d like to see Raimi really swing for the fences and make the most intense non-jokey horror film he can, one for the ages. A fella can dream, can’t he?

All text © 2007 William D'Annucci

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